Monday, August 3, 2009

Protect your marriage: Relationship Help

"Whether a marriage will be happy or whether it is headed for the divorce court can be foretold from how things go during its first two years." Says the results of studies by Dr. Ted Huston.

Early warning signs:

A Turbulant Courtship

Lots of tears and high drama

Declined affection in the first two years

A wife that's falling "out of love."

If you have these symptoms in your relationship - it's not too late to turn things around.

Consider the position you take in your relationship - do you emotionally support, engage and share? If not, if you criticize, defend or distance you are contributing to the decline of love and closeness in your relationship.

We need openness and closeness. We have to take risks to share tenderly with our partner and nurture our relationship with kindness and warmth. Try doing more of these things:
* look for the positive,
* tell your partner something you appreciate every day (no "but"'s or "if-only"'s allowed),
* make it safe for your partner to share (soft voice, kind tone, understanding and open heart),
* put yourself in your partner's shoes - have compassion for his/her stresses, and
* do an act of service for your partner everyday

If you have trouble doing any of these things after two weeks of conscious effort - then it may be time to seek marital therapy. The sooner you get relationship help the easier and faster you can be back in love. And, as we all know, being in love is a wonderful place to be!

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