tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55098288185715091772012-02-15T23:16:57.141-08:00A blog about how to strengthen your attachment bond, reduce insecurity in your relationship, stop arguing and communicate.Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.comBlogger171100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-69380600475199186452011-01-23T23:42:00.000-08:002011-01-23T23:53:52.359-08:00

I was in church this morning and in Sunday School the question came up about what we need from each other in the marriage relationship. Wives responded to wanting to share goals and plans, and also wanting to turn to their partner for comfort and soothing by spouting off about their tension.The sharing inspired me to write a little bit about how you can help your husband be more emotionally

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-29988850037524063062010-08-02T16:08:00.000-07:002010-12-24T11:48:30.703-08:00

How To Make A RepairIt's important to send a clear signal to repair when you've had a fight.Why? Well, if you learn to repair your relationship quickly you'll be healthier, plain and simple, and so will you relationship.Smiling is a easy, painless and fast way to get your relationship back on track so you can resolve what the distress was about in the first place.If you don't learn to repair your

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-32117941553668145542010-05-16T19:34:00.000-07:002010-05-16T19:41:29.894-07:00

by REBECCA JORGENSEN[EDIT]John Gottman’s research that tells us in distressed relationships both partners are trying to make repair with the other as much or more as in non-distressed relationships. Really? Yes, people are trying but the repair attempts are not accepted, or maybe the repair attempts just aren’t recognized.As a field, couple’s therapy knows a lot more about love these days then we

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-84644087715211940192010-02-17T09:33:00.001-08:002010-02-17T10:18:44.420-08:00

I read recently a blog post entitled:Emotional Health – 3 signs it might be time to end your marriage. By Lisa Kift, MFT. Her signs were1. Emotional distress with novalidation, 2. Erosion of trust with no attemptsto rebuild and 3. One or both of you havechanged significantly.While at first glance this list seems reasonable what it fails to do is to take into accountJohn Gottman’s research that

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-34056410552809305102009-12-12T22:27:00.000-08:002009-12-15T23:33:15.960-08:00

Years ago my husband told me how discouraged he was that I would frequently talk to him in a way that made him wonder if we were really compatible. He didn't think it was fair, or right, to ask me to change because he was having a difficult time handling the way I responded to stress and reacted with him. He wanted to be able to love me unconditionally. He actually was feeling badly about

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-44604918832869518162009-08-24T15:57:00.001-07:002009-08-24T15:57:42.861-07:00

This is an except from an article by FAMCO"Consider the following danger signs for a close-call friendship:* You save topics of conversation for someone other than your spouse.* You share spousal difficulties with this person. For example, "You're a woman; help me understand how my wife works."* Your friend shares relationship difficulties with you.* You anticipate seeing this person more than

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-50082222769501804682009-08-08T16:54:00.000-07:002009-08-16T20:53:09.643-07:00

If you have a sore spot in your relationship, that keeps coming up over and over, it's possible that it is, what is known to therapists as, an Attachment Injury.A friend and colleague of mine, wrote this piece about how you can heal an attachment injury you caused.I'm sharing it with his permission.Healing Attachment InjuriesAn attachment injury, by definition, is a hurt in a close relationship

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-9616612524915025002009-08-03T22:04:00.001-07:002009-08-16T20:52:34.307-07:00

"Whether a marriage will be happy or whether it is headed for the divorce court can be foretold from how things go during its first two years." Says the results of studies by Dr. Ted Huston.Early warning signs:A Turbulant CourtshipLots of tears and high dramaDeclined affection in the first two yearsA wife that's falling "out of love."If you have these symptoms in your relationship - it's not too

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-50358815008883439152009-07-15T21:10:00.000-07:002009-08-25T09:24:05.181-07:00

Is your relationship distressed? If it is, would you really want to know? Or is relationship trouble like the common cold, if you wait long enough the distress will pass?Relationships are NOT like the common cold. In fact, untended distress typically gets worse.Most men believe if they ignore hot emotions things will cool down. Well, that is sort of true. It's true in the short run, and untrue in

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-68945655947143532992009-01-01T07:44:00.000-08:002009-02-22T20:47:21.993-08:00

Part 1: Hello's and Goodbye's Not all moments are created equal.There are particular moments in our relationships that are much more important than other moments. Learning how to recognize significant moments and use them to keep your relationship strong, or to strengthen your struggling relationship can make a lot of difference.Recognizing and acting on attachment significant moments is

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-29818137840459262982008-11-14T23:06:00.000-08:002010-12-15T18:01:04.983-08:00

By Mark Chamberlain and Rebecca JorgensenBen saw that Kristy's eyes were red the moment he arrived home from work. He asked what was wrong. Her response was terse: “We'll talk after the kids are in bed.” Later, as she tried to choke back fresh tears, Kristy handed Ben a stack of papers. A list of hundreds of websites he'd visited and topics he'd searched for. Evidence that Ben had a serious

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-61476897043413797742008-10-12T21:59:00.000-07:002009-08-16T20:51:08.881-07:00

August took me to the Great Barrier Reef. A once in a lifetime opportunity not to be missed. I mean, if you’re going to be in Australia and you’re already a certified diver you just can’t miss the Great Barrier Reef. So, I got onto the dive boat with a dive tour and was taken out to some of the most fantastic dives in the world. However, the real story, for the sake of this news letter, is the

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-79419236149392792992008-09-22T00:22:00.000-07:002008-09-22T00:35:20.374-07:00

August took me to the Great Barrier Reef. A once in a lifetime opportunity not to be missed. I mean, if you’re going to be in Australia and you’re already a certified diver you just can’t miss the Great Barrier Reef. So, I got onto the dive boat with a dive tour and was taken out to some of the most fantastic dives in the world. However, the real story, for the sake of this news letter, is the

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-88497072606461338362008-05-08T00:16:00.000-07:002009-08-16T20:54:07.786-07:00

We get into romantic relationships for lots of reasons, so we think. But really, we are made to attach. Attaching is "hard-wired" into us. We live, breathe, and attach. Most of us, for the most part, are social beings. If attaching is like breathing, hard wired in, then what do we need from it? From breathing we need oxygen. From attaching we need...well, let's discuss it for a minute.John Bowlby

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-86122539569036979412008-02-04T02:58:00.000-08:002009-08-16T20:57:18.507-07:00

When we are irritated, frustrated, mad or just shut down and distant we don't help our relationships thrive. In fact, the opposite is true. Being irritated, frustrated, mad or shut down and distant damages our relationships.There's tons of reasons why we feel things that get in the way of our relationships - at least tons of surface reasons. Like, maybe your partner came home late, or didn't

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-19098693780889737752008-01-18T09:39:00.001-08:002008-01-18T11:19:12.348-08:00

What can we do to help our own relationship? I was asked this question recently.Well, there's lot of things that can be done but some things are more effective and will have a faster and bigger pay-off than other things. Not all things you might do to improve your relationship are of equal value.It may be easy for you to buy a gift, bring flowers, or make a special dinner. Those things can show

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5509828818571509177.post-4842336090108750042007-11-14T10:10:00.000-08:002009-11-20T06:52:10.382-08:00

Do you ever feel that way, that you just can't take it anymore? Or maybe you ask yourself other questions like:Why is marriage so hard sometimes?How come we can't seem to get along?Maybe you find yourself thinking things like, "I wish my partner could just listen" or "If only he/she would stop being so critical."These are common questions and feelings when couples are facing distress in their

Rebecca Jorgensen, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09944965373801238359noreply@blogger.com